Some people assume that I am pessimistic but I am not.
When my friends and I infer about future goals, I tend to shun out exaggerated possibilities. Some people tend to reassure me that “anything is possible”.I never believed in that idea. I believe that ”anything is possible” happens only if you have resources to make it possible. Also, “anything is possible” tends to lean on a meritocratic idea. I never liked the idea of ‘meritocracy’….
I can’t believe I am writing this but omygoodness. It’s a mess. I feel like we are slowly getting ripped apart from ourselves. The hardest part is letting them decide because… it is not your life, it’s theirs. I used to think love is enough; I guess in this case it isn’t. How could I still believe in a made up fantasy. That love can conquer. That love is so powerful that it bends and makes people fight for it. Maybe I am too demanding. Maybe I deserve to be alone.
I just don’t know what to think of it. I thought I had it, but I was wrong.
My quest for truth only led me to lies. It is heartbreaking.
Emotions, they destroy you.
I now understand why distance can destroy relationships. It is not that you don’t love each other but because you love yourself more.
I don’t know, I’m not thinking straight.
“I’m clearly too evolved for driving.”. It is only funny if you know me.
(cause I am 22 and I don’t drive)
I might have sounded like a snob bitch when I said “Canada is my home”. Dont get me wrong, Philippines is beautiful. I was raised there until I was 13. However, I began to think logically in Canada. My most pinnacle decisions were in Canada. I loved, thought, graduated, got heartbroken, and basically created myself in Canada.
I guess you could say its that nurture and nature debate.
So understand that I am not walking away from my ancestral home, i am merely recognizing that maybe I have two homes or …none at all.
Check out my semi-personal blog about anything that relates to some sociological theory or issue! One thing that I am interested in is Sociological Cinema. As a result, you will see short reviews of movies leaning towards a more ‘sociological lens’, most specifically showing sociological issues in society.
PS: I would really love some feedback’s as I have admitted in that blog already, I know nothing.
After my Religion in Society class, in which discussion of personal beliefs were evident, I pondered my own set of belief and realized how hard it was for me to formulate myself into a set of religion.
It is not the existence of a deity I question but the this notion that the “path to salvation is characterized by the belief that the will of a deity has been revealed in the form of a Holy Law.” which “determines most of one’s action in daily life.” This idea that a person has to live by a set of rules. It is what stops me from characterizing myself in a certain religion.
i.e in Catholicism: Same-Sex Marriage. The church opposes same-sex marriage for one thing. Marriage is for procreation. That is why they are also against cohabitation, sex before marriage, birth controls etc..
By this logic, a female who can’t conceive a child shouldn’t get married.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely would like to go back to being a Catholic. However, I can’t turn a blind eye on what I know just for temporary bliss.
I actually admire people who, knowing religion as a social construction, still continue to have faith, still continue to follow a Holy Law constructed by people generations ago.
Maybe one day I will come to that, Maybe I wont, but there is one thing that I am sure.
I will continue to live my life exploring, learning and empathizing other people’s way of reaching divinity.
My boyfriend is here but he is sick :(. I hope he gets better. Its frustrating to hear him cough a lot and knowing I cant rid of it right away.
Anyways, I am physically tired from moving so I probably need at least a week to adjust to that “back to school” mentality.
I dont know what but something more.
I dont want to be with someone who just cant understand why I am frightened, and who just isnt there for me especially when I need them most.